Yup. That's how my shoulders feel today. Tuesday I got a call from my doctor after having a biopsy done to see whats wrong with me down there and turns out I have "Lichen Sclerosis". The skin is thin and rips easily from wiping, and *ahem* activity. Oh, and it hurts/itches/burns like crazy. Its been really bad for the last 6 months or so, but its been like this for quite a while looking back, at least 7 years. What my nurse said was "you have lichen sclerosis (i thought she said vican scholiosis at first, lol). We tested it for cancer and it is benign right now. We're gonna have you use a cream every day for 4 weeks, then every other day for 4 weeks, then once a week from now until FOREVER (that's right, this crap doesn't ever go away). We'll have you come back in 3 months to check you and then 6 months to check you and test for cancer." Pretty awesome huh??? So, I googled it because she didn't tell me exactly what it was. Oh my gosh. I started bawling. This cream should help with the itch and burn but it won't ever go away completely, there isn't a cure. And in some of the women, it can get so bad that their vagina fuses together with their clitoris, which means no sex. Which means a very grumpy husband. And a strained relationship. That scares me. I know my husband loves me, he tells me all the time. But his reaction when he got home from work showed me he loves me... I asked him if he still loved me with my defective vagina and he pulled me into a big hug and told me "in sickness and in health, right?" Awww. I really started bawling then. And I told him I was sorry for having this and he laughed at me and told me it wasn't my fault, And I know that, but its nice to hear. Its kind of hard to find out you have some crazy cooch disease that's gonna be there for the rest of my life. Good thing we are done having babies already, huh. Although, I'm not sure how that affects that. Anyway...
My point was I have a wall hanging in my kitchen that says "God doesn't give you what you can handle, God helps you handle what you are given". I bought this when we started out on our autism journey with our Bubs. Its so true. I was just telling my mother in law about the bible verse that says God doesn't give us more than we can handle, and how I am glad he thinks I am strong enough to handle everything on my plate but that my plate is full. Well, now I guess since I'd gotten through my sons latest IEP meeting and was not stressed for 2 weeks, there was room for more, LOL. I know that it is God who makes me strong, and I can handle this. But for now, I'm still sad and scared but I know that God will be along for the ride with me.
