Day 9- Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted. Denise. Man I miss her. But at the same time, I think that maybe we were friends for the season we were and I should just be grateful and call it good. When I think of her, I think of the good things, not our breakup. But wait Megan, I thought this was about a friendship that drifted apart, not one that broke up. Yes, yes you are right. But before the breakup we had drifted for almost 2 years. We were so close when we worked together at the salon. Even when I had Camden we stayed really close, through our move 40 minutes north and another move in the same city. The 3rd move however, we didn't make it for long after that. I think that was kind of the turning point. Also, the night we moved that last time, I got pregnant. So I grew up some more (amazing how that happens) and it was also then we started noticing some of Bubba's issues come to light. Back to Denise... So I had Carter and she came to the hospital to see him. We saw her two times after that. At her house. She never once came to the house to see me and that did bug me. But NO ONE came to see me, so everyone annoyed me, lol! She has a genuine fear of driving long distances. And no we don't live far, but if you hit Seattle traffic just right it can seem to take FOREVER. Anyways, Carter was a cranky cranky baby,had lots of health problems and was always crying, I was always crying, Camden started acting up (partly baby, partly autism- but we didn't know yet) so it was very hard to ever have a conversation on the phone with anyone. It still is. Well, we'd talk maybe two or three times a month, and when we were used to talking a few times daily it seems like not much. The nail in our coffin was a misunderstanding on facebook. I misunderstood something she wrote trying to be funny, so did some of my other friends and one wrote something to her, she replied, then I replied. Nothing mean, no name calling but both our feelings got hurt. When she called me I was doing hair. When I got done with Tana's hair we went up stairs and within minutes, Camden got on the eliptical machine and hit Carter in the head with it. So I couldn't call her then either. I texted her, explaining what had just happened and that I'd call her when I got them in bed since it was almost time for dinner and then bedtime stuff starts. So I got the kids all in bed and hopped in the tub and texted her again " Kids are all in bed now, wanna talk?" It was 9 :00. I was so nervous for that phone call. Fast forward to 11:00 and I'm out of the tub, in bed and almost asleep and I get a text that says " I'm up". I thought to myself I'm not and went back to sleep. In the morning I got Carter his breakfast, opened up facebook, working up the courage to call her when I realized SHE DELETED ME. No conversation, no explanations, just a huge misunderstanding and our friendship was over. I was shocked. I don't know her side, what her feelings were during that little 2 day fiasco but I wonder if maybe she knew our friendship was coming to a close too? That we both had changed enough that our friendship wasn't the same as it used to be, and that it was ok to move on? Or maybe, she just hates me. Who knows? Not me, I was too chicken to call her after that. Deleting AND BLOCKING someone sends a pretty loud message that you are done.
Its been over a year now. March 25th was our breakup day, I wonder if she thought of me that day, the same way I thought of her. I am okay with my life without her in it. Do I miss her, of course! In a really weird way, it makes it easier because now I don't have to feel guilty for not spending time with her, because I truly don't have the time. Its funny how people assume if you are a stay at home parent, you have tons of free time. I invite you to come on over and see for yourself. If I have free time, its because someone is napping, kids are at school or I'm ignoring the kids and my housework. I don't get alot of free time, lol.
I miss you D. Especially tonight. Love you, dillweed.
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