I would have to disagree with the Beatles on this one. I'm almost never alone and I am lonely. When I start to say something like "I miss adults" some people are ready to tell me "good, its time for you to get back to work then. " Ummm... that's not what I meant and by the way, I work 24/7 thank you very much. I miss hanging out with my friends. And yes I do miss working in a salon, doing hair, being around chatty girls and hearing lots of gossip but if I had the choice of being home with my kiddos or working (and a paycheck not being a factor) I would choose my kids. No hesitation. But I miss being able to feel free to go hang out with friends, to not worry about the kids or who is watching them, to just have fun.
I think I am stuck in an autism bubble. Its so easy to just be home where things are safe and calm. Ha ha, well, calmER. Going to my moms house is incredibly stressful. My mom tries to help and usually she is very helpful but her patience for Camden is so low and my dad just really doesn't have a clue about how he needs to interact with him. You cannot just tease him like you do everyone else. He doesn't get it. And then Camden will try to do it back but it doesn't always come out right so my dad gets mad and puts him in time out, which makes him scream, then my dad gets madder and tries to give him spankings. "Because he shouldn't throw fits like that." I'm sorry, but it just doesn't work that way. Camden doesn't need special treatment but he needs a little more consideration. How hard is it to just not pick on the kid when you know he's gonna freak out? Seems pretty easy to me. I think its a grandpa thing because Joey's step dad does it too. Larry is usually pretty good with Bubs but he is a total pushover, telling him no no no and then letting him do whatever he just told him no about. Consistency people! Camden thrives on consistency and schedules. Always has, even before we knew why he did. Bugga V is my go to person with Bubs. She knows his diet almost as well as I do, she knows how to calm him, when its ok to spoil him, and is learning better how to tell him no and mean it. That was a problem for a little while. She is so wonderful for me and for Camden. The hardest part about him spending time with Bugga V is when its time to come home. He throws huge fits, screams, hides, hits/scratches/bites himself or even tries running away. One time when I went to pick him up he came running out to me and I thought I was gonna get a hug, but instead he punched me and yelled "I'm not going home with you". Such a sweet boy!
Back to me now... I think that I am over my depression, I had ppd after both boys. I think I am just incredibly lonely. I have wonderful friends and I know they love me and mean well, but most of them have never witnessed a huge Bubba freak out. And while I am grateful for that, I also kinda wish they could, so they'd know just how hard it can be sometimes. And also realize why I don't really leave the house. And maybe come visit me, so I can stay where my Bubbys needs me, in our little autism bubble.
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